Relationship coach and senior pastor of David’s Christian Centre, Kingsley Okonkwo, has sparked widespread debate after sharing his views on how differences in income between spouses can affect marriage.
Speaking during a sermon titled “5 Pillars That Keep Your Marriage From Crashing,” Pastor Okonkwo advised married and intending couples not to allow financial success become a source of tension or power struggle within the home.
According to the cleric, marriages may face greater challenges when a wife earns significantly more than her husband if the couple fails to manage the situation with the right mindset.
“When women earn more, the marriage is in danger. Don’t confuse the fact that you live in America to mean you must have an American marriage. You are a kingdom citizen,” he said.
Pastor Okonkwo argued that many women have not received adequate teaching on the responsibilities of marriage, adding that several studies suggest relationships in which wives out-earn their husbands can experience increased strain if financial differences begin to influence respect and family dynamics.
He further stated that many women naturally see themselves as receivers in relationships, warning that resentment may develop if a wife begins to feel her husband can no longer provide value because she earns more.
“Most women are wired to believe that they are receivers. The moment she starts to earn more and feels this guy can’t do anything major for me, resentment begins to build,” he said.
The pastor maintained that in what he described as a “kingdom marriage,” financial contribution should never determine leadership, honour, or mutual respect between spouses.
“As a lady, you must understand that in the kingdom, your number one role is as a helper,” he added.
Pastor Okonkwo also claimed that many men have expressed reluctance to marry women who earn more than they do, citing fears that income disparities could negatively affect respect, communication, and harmony in the relationship.
“Men tell me all the time, ‘We can never marry women that earn more than us. She’ll be rude, you can’t advise her, she’ll have an attitude,'” he said.
He concluded by encouraging women who find themselves supporting husbands through financial challenges to do so willingly and without resentment.
“If you ever for any reason marry a man that needs help, you can’t help with an attitude. You can’t help and feel like you are suffering. That is what you are created to do,” he stated.
The sermon has since generated mixed reactions on social media. While some people agreed with Pastor Okonkwo’s perspective on maintaining traditional family roles and preventing financial success from becoming a source of conflict, others argued that mutual respect, communication, and shared values—not income levels—are the key determinants of a successful marriage.